You are back again to the movie scene…
Yeah I am. Fully, man [smiles]. And ‘Lunch Time Heroes’ is a good one to come back with.
What would be the difference between then and now?
Hmmm. Now, more quality script; more attention to details; better production values and a picky, actually more discerning audience which keeps us all on our toes. Because our audience does not just watch stuff just for watching sake. You have to appeal to them. They are more perceptive about what to watch as opposed to before when it was just a new thing and everybody wanted to hop on it. That’s why I said more discerning. more after the cut........
Now, you are married and a mother of two, that means more responsibilities. How do you manage?
Honestly, it’s by grace of God. I know it sounds too cliché but that is just what it takes; a very supportive family structure, my husband is a very big believer in what I am doing. My children, my mum, my nanny, so, I have a really great family structure that allows me to be here right now, not at home tending to babies, which is hard because I have to be at home for my children. But mum’s gotta work. And I think it’s a very good thing, because I have two girl, I think it’s a very good thing for girls to grow up and see their mummy work. You know, that way, they will build their own sense of a work ethic so that they too can have something to bring to the table.
What’s your definition of family?
Family, for me, is the most important thing in life it’s the bedrock of the society. But unfortunately, our families are really under pressure right now. Mum and dad have to hustle but at the same time, if you instill the right morals and values from a really young age, it goes off a long way.
How was it for you – the instillation of morals and values?
Oh for sure. I mean I’m the first born and I have three brothers and a sister. I was always held to be a good example and I thank God for that even though sometimes my mum was always on my case and I would be like, ‘am I the only one in this house’ but I’m so grateful that she did that and now, I can pass that on to my daughters.
Tell us about your daughters.
I have Ayomide and she is three and she’s going to four and Dasola who is one.
You are not Yoruba but you are married to one. How do cope with each other, looking at the differences in cultural background?
It’s amazing. And it can be challenging at times because, of course, different cultures, different upbringing but it’s all about adjusting to each other. He has a great family and I’m lucky there and I think the Yoruba people are great. I mean I grew up in Lagos. I was born and bred here in Lagos and so, I’m used to the Yoruba culture. I don’t have a problem with ‘kun le’. You know, that training of humility and respect for elders. Because I grew up here, I think it was easy to integrate.
How was growing up, financially?
Yeah, it was great. I didn’t have to worry or be bothered by anything. I went to great schools, I went to Coroner Primary School, which is still one of the best school in Lagos State. Our sixtieth anniversary is coming up soon. Can you imagine it, since 1960. I had a great idyllic childhood. But there also got a time when things changed, you know, dramatically and I had to now see the other side of life which I will talk about soon. It’s not time yet. But I have been on both sides of the fence and I think it’s great because you are able to tap into different experiences as opposed to if I was just an ‘ajebota’ from the junk. I was an ajebota coming up and I got the ‘ajekpato’ thing going on in the middle and here I am, through a lot of hard work and God’s blessing.
What was the inspiration for becoming a movie star?
You know, to be honest, I never set out to be in the movies. I always wanted to be a singer and a journalist. And I studied mass communications in Unilag. I did my diploma in 1997 and I went back for my degree in 1999. And then I worked in between. I was on NTA, I was on Channels. Not as a journalist but as a TV presenter. I actually started out with sports. And that is where I met Emem Isong and said she liked my looks, she liked the way I spoke and carried myself and then she gave me a role in my first movie, ‘Slient Tears’ and it just kind of snowballed from there and if anyone told that I would be an actor today, I wouldn’t believe and that is just to tell you how God does it. You know, there are many paths to what you are supposed to be.
What keeps you going?
[sighs] I guess that what motivates me is the fact that I know that what I have is a gift from God and that I have an obligation to praise him through what I do. I don’t want to let him down. You know, I don’t want to get to heaven and He is like, ‘all the talents I gave you, what did you do with them?’ Did you bless people? Did you encourage people? And that is why my philosophy is the same. I have always stayed humble. I have always stayed down to earth. Because I know that’s what I have to do to reach people.
You do talk about God a lot. Are you very religious?
I am not religious, I am spiritual. I grew up in a religious home where we used to go to church but I have surpassed religion now I’m spiritual. It takes a lot more than saying you are a Christian. You have to be a Christian in the way you are and that’s why I’m grateful for the opportunity to be the ambassador for Action Aid Nigeria where we are reaching out to the poor and the disadvantaged, the disenfranchised in our society. That’s what it’s for me. It’s not just being a celebrity for being a celebrity’s sake.
What’s the connection between success and God?
I think God made success possible. But he gives you the tools and you as a human being now go out and begin to shine and for His name to be glorified.
Talking about helping people, are you starting a foundation anytime soon?
Actually, I have one. I have an initiative called the Dakore Initiative. But I haven’t yet really done much with it because I believe in baby steps. I don’t want to just come out on the world stage. Let me do my home work. Let me get my feet wet first so I first of all worked with Amnesty International but that was for the control against arms and ammunition and you know that’s very politically sensitive and I wasn’t really able to do justice to that. So when Action Aid now came on board, they spoke to me and because helping the poor is something I’ve always identified with because I have had plenty and I have had lack. And I know what both is like. And I know that I have the ability to reach out to a lot of people because of my fame and influence. There is something called the ‘sphere of influence’ and it is how you use that influence that matters.
How did you make your first million naira?
[Giggles] My first million naira… it wasn’t actually from a film. It was a few million though. It wasn’t just one and it was through Amstel Malta. When Amstel Malta brought me on board as their ambassador in 2007 and I was their ambassador for three years.
Women do a lot with money. So, what did you do with it?
I bought a car. I bought a nice car.
Was that a good investment, I mean for a young millionaire?
Yeah. Because it was brand new and I still drive it till tomorrow.
You don’t look your age. How do work the magic?
What do you mean, I’m young come on, I’m 22 [laughs]. Well, a lot of hard work. I exercise a lot. I watch what I eat and hit the gym, I do yoga, I do ‘zumba’ because I like to dance. I do a combination of things so I’m not bored. It’s hard but you know, I want to be able to be young for my kids. But there are days, though when I will be like, ‘I have to have a chocolate today or else…’ but it’s all about moderation in all things. And I try to be disciplined.
You used to be distinct with your hairdo – dreadlocks.
Yeah. I have always been all about natural hair. I had my locks for 13 years. I had my natural hair for 16 years…
What’s the difference now?
I think… when I had my locks, it was a very permanent style you know, I couldn’t do anything else with it but now that my hair is natural, it’s easier.
You had your locks for 13 straight years?
Yeah! That’s a long time for a woman. especially because you know we like to change our hair all the time and I used to be like that but I felt like my natural self. I didn’t want to perm my hair anymore. My hair is still not permed and this is just African braid. I’m an African woman and I’m proud to be. But I also like the versatility: I can wear a weave today, I can wear a braid tomorrow, so I’m enjoying it but the locks are calling me again.
No. Don’t answer the call…
Yeah you know, some people are always like, ‘I went to lock my hair because of you and you now went to cut it’ and I will be like, change is good. Change is inevitable but I appreciate the fact that people came to know me with my locks.
How do you unwind?
Music. Music helps me unwind. Just being at home with my husband and kids.
You were toying with the idea of producing a musical album, what happened to it?
Yeah I’m still doing that but gradually. The music, you know, I’m being held to a higher standards now because a few of my colleagues went into it and have not been successful but I want to make sure that when I come out, I come out correct because once I come out, you guys would not give me any second chances, so I have to make sure I use it well but music is still in my heart. It’s still where I feel more at peace and it’s effortless but I have been performing here and there.
Performing?
Yeah, I still go to a few places, you know, run there and run back like it wasn’t me.
What kind of songs do you sing?
Oh my God. I’m a big fan of Fela Anikulapo Kuti’s. Thatis my genre. I love R’n’B but I also love contemporary music, I love soul music and a lot more. I love Bez, I love Asa, TuFace, I’m his biggest fan, MI, they get you dancing. I’m just so proud to be an artiste now because when were starting, it wasn’t the smart thing to do. If you say you wanted to be a musician or an actor, they would say, ‘your own don finish. You’re a never-do-well’. But it’s a good time to be an artiste now.
Marriages today seem to be under a siege and you wonder: ‘why would I even want to get married’. How have you been able to stayed married?
Yes, marriage is under siege but through a lot of prayer. Joint prayer. My husband and I, we make a point of duty to always pray together no matter the schedule. We just identify that God is our mainstay and that He is the third cord in our strand. I realized that whenever we start to deviate from that is when trouble would come. God instituted marriage and the only way it is going to work is if we tap into that source, which is God. And apart from that, it has to do with the encouragement of both families because the two families have to encourage each other. We do have our challenges, don’t get me wrong.
My parents split up after seventeen years of marriage. I know what that means. I have that at the back of my mind. We did marriage counseling and that still helps.
How long have you been married?
We have been married now for five years.
Are you afraid of the number: 17?
No I’m not. God has not called us into the spirit of fear at all. I know some of the challenges that my parents faced. Part of why it became difficult for them and I have that at the back of my mind. So when I notice certain things, I begin to say, we have to work on this and that but no fear at all.
The way you talk about marriage, will you support gay marriage?
Er… you know what? I believe in ‘live and let live’. Let God be the ultimate judge. I have friends, people, associates that I know are gay and I still love them. Jesus loved everybody…
You know them and you have them?
Jesus loved everybody. Jesus loved the sinners and if you are going to minster to people, you have to come down to their level. You cannot sit on a pedestal and say; ‘my sin is better than yours’. So, let us leave that and I know that it’s not a diplomatic answer but it’s really the way I feel. Let God be the judge.
But how do you know that they are gay, I mean Nigerians?
No! No! I’m not talking about Nigerians. I mean in America. You know, Americans are more open about it. We steal, we cheat, we like and we seem to be comfortable with those but because the gay thing is new and nobody knows anything about it, we are all screaming. That’s my opinion.
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